The Self Preservation instinct brings out a great dichotomy between indulgence and abstinence.
Self Preservation is connected to earth and hearth. It seeks to preserve the flame (of life): both metaphorically and literally. Self Preservation with the Social element (Sp/So) applies social order and -currency to this endeavor. Acquiring resources via trade and commerce.
In contrast, Self Preservation with the Sexual element (Sp/Sx) lacks this interactive quality. It is less ‘available’ – harder to reach – when it comes to the dynamics of the man-made clock and other media of such nature (including Facebook and WordPress). I am not speaking of frequency here, otherwise extroverted people could not be of the Sp/Sx variety – no, I am speaking of style: conversations do not follow the social code and relationships can seem to vary wildly in both status and approach. They lack social structure.
Where the Social element introduces order, the Sexual element introduces chaos: a reverence of the eternal, a union with the cosmic consciousness. Sp/Sx is identified with the Self above all, and because of this, a surrender to the all is unlikely (this is territory of Sx/So and So/Sx). Sp/Sx, singular in its nature -being ‘blind’ socially – then seeks to employ this desire for chaos and the eternal through an identification of the self as the sole object. In other words, it seeks to be(come) immortal.
Where Sp/So seeks immortality via the passage of tradition and culture, passing on the flame if you will, Sp/Sx seeks it by ‘merging’ the flame with itself. Absorption of life essence, vampiric in nature, with similarities to Sx/Sp: the greatest difference being that Sx/Sp employs one’s own mortality on the quest for union – showing a desire to replace the self with the other. This is sacrilegious to Sp/Sx, as the development and nurture of one’s own qi (ch’i, life force), regardless of belief system, is paramount for the Self Preservation instinct. It is not something to “waste.” (Waste, indulge/binge <> abstain, ascetic.) Surrender, then, becomes difficult.
Self Preservation is attuned to life, and as a natural consequence of this, to death. It concerns the cycle of life and death. Growth, birth, health. Sickness, death, decay.
As Sp/So establishes the continuation of this cycle via transactional means, Sp/Sx seeks to continue it via self-obsession/-possession. Even when obsessions can lead one’s focus astray, it will not shift the general comfort of a way that is primarily oriented towards the self and one’s toil. This includes a way that orients itself towards rejecting said toil. The toil necessary for growth, birth, health, and the toil necessary to fight sickness, death, decay.
Abstinence is the barren grey/white/ivory limbo in-between the luscious indulgence of black death/void and red/blue life/breath/flame. It is the realm of stoicism and lonely statues. It consumes without absorbing. It doesn’t live, nor does it die. It is a state of unnatural immortality: undeath.