“Why Can’t I find my Type?” The ego resists seeing its own defenses. We need our defense strategies (enneagram) and biases (functions) for a reason. These strategies give the mind a pattern that it can learn to protect itself from chaos. The defenses work on automatic..so uncovering the truth about them weakens them and leaves the ego bare, exposed, raw. Over time it helps to see ourselves, so that we may use our defenses but prevent them from using us … But at first, exposing the truth about our automatic reactions and “inner settings” forces us to change. The ego resists changing because it is scared of exposure and chaos…rightfully so. Whether or not someone types correctly, it is only a strong ego that can digest the true meaning of its own type… and even then, the ego will continue defending itself by creating distortions around that idea, such as taking pride in your type, being ashamed, creating internal drama around it… all of which distracts from looking at the self objectively. Embracing the deep value of typology, on an egoic level, is a lifelong journey.
another notch on the belt, though - experience, right?
I have a huge sense of purpose already. i took on enneagram study as an ‘offshoot’ for spiritual reasons within my book itself, to help me organize my spiritual systems. i honestly don’t have time for enneagram deep work that it needs, but i’ve stuck with it for this long because of being compelled by how much it helped me and how much i know it could help others if the community had a better approach…. and so many other levels of reasons.. because i met my husband on a forum, becasue we do it together etc…