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know yourself

By December 27, 2019Erica Xenne
i dont pay attention to people’s claims – they have no idea who they are. unless they spend a lot of time looking at old pics, rereading old diaries, organizing and considering themes that come up
nothing wrong with NOT DOING that – they’re living their life. but ive dedicated my life specifically to this kind of work
and i still didnt type myself correctly, per se, because i was thinking too much about the last several years and how i never leave the house, which was the wrong way to look at it, since im sick especially
so it’s wise to just ignore most of people’s bs and “stories they tell themselves” – *MYSELF INCLUDED – and see what they show you
and to me aub did a better job capturing this “essence” —- than anyone ive seen. it’s intimidating to realize this actually has to happen with enneagram too and i have no idea how we can get our coverage of it up to par
especially since it’s less scientific, so we have to rely on our own typings of people as evidence of what that type is like, which can become self defeating
like if one of our initial assumptions about type was wrong, and we use that as a basis for later typings… how will we know? We’re always double and triple and quadruple checking our assumptions against reality, but when does our own “claim” replace “reality” so that there’s nothing pushing against it?
there is a vultology for enneagram but it’s less technical
harder to sell or encapsulate in a list of signals
there are some , though
like head types will have more weight on their head when talking
heart types in the chest and gut types at the center
and this is pretty easily visible to the average person if you line up photos
but ive been contemplating how to really substantiate it, the way it is done here
because otherwise it’s just “your word against mine” regarding the many people sayng “Butttt I don’t relate to your description of me”
while i’m saying “No, my description of this type is EXACTLY you – look how obvious it is!”
and they’re like “Ughhh, you don’t know me! Don’t tell me who i am!”
and then you have a pointless typing session

Elsie

another notch on the belt, though – experience, right?

Animal

and ive been going around in circles with this problem in the enneagram community for years. our explanations got better and better, and more persuasive, but still won’t convince many people that their own ego is not an adequate judge of itself
obviously, we also need to get excellent descriptions, excellent high-level work… which makes people question their previous assumptions. so there’s responsibility on our end too. i don’t expect people to just “swallow what i say” — when i talk about enneagram, i try to do so with care, and not just “tell people who they are” if im not really really ready to explain why in words
so i have a lot of people here asking my input, and i have ideas, but im hesitant to lay them out until we have good descriptions and objective criteria that people can see themselves in. but how to establish that? it’s all very tricky. and if it can’t be established, should enneagram just be abandoned? (even though in many cases, enneagram type is self evident?)
enneagram is touching on a lot of self-evident truth, but there still could be something missing. the model itself is up for questioning. it’s a huge undertaking.
well depends what you want from it if its not working id just drop it but stick it all back together again if see opportunity some things take time/revelations
but anyway, after years of experience with enneagram ive learned my own limits (as in, what i “relate to” isnt always necessarily the central “truth” of the matter, though theres usually something to it)
and ive learned most people will cling to their perceptions of their ego at any cost, even the cost of alienating others, being explicitly insulting or wrong about themselves in public, etc
and these arent necessarily bad people – ive done it too, to some degree
so a question ive been dealing with for a while is – what are these ego delusions doing for us?
and thats basically what enneagram exists to answer, imo.

Old post:

“Why Can’t I find my Type?”

The ego resists seeing its own defenses.

We need our defense strategies (enneagram) and biases (functions) for a reason. These strategies give the mind a pattern that it can learn to protect itself from chaos.

The defenses work on automatic..so uncovering the truth about them weakens them and leaves the ego bare, exposed, raw.

Over time it helps to see ourselves, so that we may use our defenses but prevent them from using us …

But at first, exposing the truth about our automatic reactions and “inner settings” forces us to change. The ego resists changing because it is scared of exposure and chaos…rightfully so. Whether or not someone types correctly, it is only a strong ego that can digest the true meaning of its own type… and even then, the ego will continue defending itself by creating distortions around that idea, such as taking pride in your type, being ashamed, creating internal drama around it… all of which distracts from looking at the self objectively. Embracing the deep value of typology, on an egoic level, is a lifelong journey.
so enneagram is dealing with “ego” on a level that implicitly causes mistypes to be really important to people. people need to cling to them sometimes for their own sanity
so how do you approach this topic with intellectual integrity?
and these are the questions ive been asking myself for a while.
and on a deeper level is this even a topic i should be delving into, morally speaking.
i feel like it needs to be done, and the major writers now are abusive and very misinformed. it’s created a mess. the current enneagram establishment needs to be scrutinized at its roots. and this whole tradition started with the early writers having beef with each other
and i know from experience that if something needs to be done right, i have to do it myself, but i keep on hoping that someone better will come along and do the job, so i don’t feel it pulling at me. because the moral and personal implications, not to mention the time this takes, are tremendous
but if there was a more objective system like Auburn has delved into with functions, then this would be a lot easier.. though it would still be a huge burden for me
omg
i couldnt see all your messages.
til now.
sorry.
scrolling back up
i just kept going bc i coudlnt see
another notch on the belt, though - experience, right?

I have a huge sense of purpose already. i took on enneagram study as an ‘offshoot’ for spiritual reasons within my book itself, to help me organize my spiritual systems. i honestly don’t have time for enneagram deep work that it needs, but i’ve stuck with it for this long because of being compelled by how much it helped me and how much i know it could help others if the community had a better approach…. and so many other levels of reasons.. because i met my husband on a forum, becasue we do it together etc…

i mean i did years of deep work already
but the overhaul that it needs now is just gigantic, and the deeper i got into it the clearer that became
and many people in enneagram community have noticed the same; it’s well known – but i dont know if anyone else has the tools to do this
i think me and Kat as a pair could do it well and make a real difference, and feel passionate about it too; but where do we find the time/ funds etc
sigh what a mess
:smile:
it would be easier if we had come up with enneagram ourselves and previous people hadn’t made such a cartoon out of it
so part of me is considering making a whole new system as an offshoot, like the one i use in my books
and just publicizing that, with its mythology

Author enneatribe

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